It was Fathers Day yesterday, something I was reminded about by a number of friends who asked what I’d be doing on what, to them, was a special day.
Well, apart from watching the races, doing some creative writing to help me try and piece life’s jigsaw together and then deciding at around midnight to meet a girl friend for a chat, Fathers Day was just like any other day.
Perhaps it was how I was brought up- mainly by my mother and on who’s birthday I was born- but these special “days” were considered “useless” by her- corny, fake and a waste of time.
Frankly, I don’t even remember receiving a birthday or Christmas present from my folks and, no doubt why, celebrating these days with others as an adult has no meaning.
It wasn’t until I was married that Thanksgiving Day, Valentine’s Day, Mothers and Fathers Day, Easter, birthdays and Christmas were celebrated.
Looking back, because of her strong religious upbringing, these were truly special days to my wife- a great woman with strong family values- and days where family ties were strengthened and, in many ways, marital vows renewed.
For me, none of it was working as I was still singing, Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.
Yesterday- supposedly Fathers Day- there was nothing from my family- or ex family- or whatever it’s supposed to be or mean these days.
Not much, I guess as no feelings are “residing inside me”.
What’s past is past and has no place in the Now.
Then again, I return to my upbringing and hear my mother say, “Who cares? It’s just another day, and maybe they were busy.”
Busy. We’re all busy watching the wheels go by and making plans that will never be and seem to become needy and clingy when staring gloom or grief in the face.
It’s like remembering The Serenity Prayer when things are not going according to plan and answers are hard to find.
In the game of love- and, more and more, it becomes a game when, yes, Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore- until that reason why you once fell deliriously in love with someone is reduced to “feelings” on social media and divorced from the real world of making the effort to meet someone, making eye contact, communicating and intuitively knowing what can be as opposed to succumbing to an emotionless booty call and loveless marriage.
No matter what age we might be, I look around and see very little Love or true compassion or real friendships.
It’s all become fragmented, insular, isolated and lacking passion- the passion to throw caution to the wind and make changes so things can happen as opposed to putting things on hold.
Put too many things on Hold and it becomes more clutter, and as Don Henley sang, avoiding getting to the Heart Of The Matter.
Henley, Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, Dylan, Jimmy Webb, Stevie Wonder, Leon Russell, Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, Joni Mitchell, Brian Wilson were all songwriters who proudly wore their hearts on their sleeves and different to the great songwriters before them from Tin Pan Alley and the Brill Building who kept romance alive like a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie.
It was a different time then and it’s a different time now.
Today, I watch how people in the creative field work to get from A to B and see why the end product is so mediocre: No passion, a lack of life’s experiences and happy in accepting that Okay is good enough.
Same with many of today’s music makers: No passion and a smattering of words that say nothing as they’re simply not storytellers like Dylan and his Visions Of Joanna or the honest truth of I Threw It All Away, the simplicity of Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight or the torment of his Layla, the homage to her- whoever she was- by George Harrison with Something, the biting love songs of hurt and betrayal by Jimmy Webb, Joni Mitchell and James Taylor, Cat Stevens singing about Lady D’Arbanville and the generation gap between Father And Son- real songs about real life and real people and, as Paul Simon sang, not just a pocketful of mumbles that are sometime promises.
Today, it’s fluff, it’s vagaries and vapidity as most relationships are fake.
They’ve come from the wrong places, they show weakness of character which speaks volumes as to who you wish to have around you as, well, Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore and it shows.
Yes, it does, yes, it does, yes, it does.