BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Posted: November 23, 2012 by We-Enhance in Asia, China Entertainment Industry, Hong Kng, Hong Kong, TVB
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It’s the latest cause de jour right now and it’s easy enough to say and, of course, many want Hong Kong to desperately have new television channels as the two terrestrial channels in town- HKTVB and ATV- screen the same turgid serving of Eighties-style variety shows whereas the bulk of those entertainment channels on the abysmal NOWTV con job work on 6 and 8 hour loops and with repeats of what must have been some very inexpensive programming content to purchase.

So, is it worth all this hue and cry by ATV Asia against the granting of a new licenses for reasons too fucking weird to get into and then, in the red corner, those who are waging their wars to have more choices of television channels? Forget ATV and their warped sense of fair play, but also be careful what you wish for as there can be new channels for entertainment, but don’t think they’ll be any better than the devils we know and how these channels might mean more programming clutter and human clutter.

If people are actually paid to be in charge of running channels broadcast on NOW which is actually more THEN, they are very lucky to have these gigs and lead their expat lifestyles in Asia’s media center that is Singapore with a wife at home and a Sarong Party Girl on the side, or, if a woman running one of these channels, the time to fleece Asia, live the life of Ms O’Reilly, have those Memberships to all those private Clubs that matter and travel the world along with the cocktail circuit before “returning home” to reality.

All this apart, there is the simple fact that NONE of these current channels, especially those available NOWTV seldom have money for production as they have zero advertisers.

Only those channels that have secured the exclusive rights to broadcast Premier League matches get advertisers along with TVB and ATV and their embarrassing and dodgy awards shows and beauty contests. ATV’s Mister Hong Kong Pageant must take a special place in Hong Kong’s Wall Of Shame. Still, these guys had massive balls to make such big knobs of themselves.

Also on this Wall Of Shame should be those bullshit artists running television channels through family ties who make out they are giving you a career-breaking opportunity by asking to have new programming created and produced when you know all too well that these are shuck and jive merchants with no record of having done even one successful deal.

Still, you sit there and listen to a litany of names from China- SMG, CCTV, Li Rae-gong- in Hong Kong, the usual local suspects led by Charles Chan, Paco Wong etc- you are told about the politics of, let’s say, TVB, and how this new program would be “different”, but none of this ever happens and you wonder why you were such a patsy and were had- again.

Meanwhile, after several meetings, rewrites, dinners, lunches, more “fine-tuning”, the “mind-blowing” program that was going to be produced for China and with “humongous” touring opportunities in China, is suddenly pummeled and reduced to a pilot for the Hong Kong as “test case”. And then comes the really big rub:The broadcaster will air the program for FREE- BUT, you, the supplier, must find the advertisers to cover these broadcasting costs AND cover all production, venue and talent costs. Huh????? And you don’t even get a dime for all the work already done as it’s all “on spec.” Suddenly, the nice, smooth-talking guy you’ve known for years and who has these incredible family ties and knows everyone, starts to look different and also starts to smell.

These “deals” still go on and I have to think how many knobs it takes to screw so many outta few lightbulb matters.Still, they’ll sell the same bollocks to some desperates who’ll think they can afford to lose out on this job but will make it all up on “the next job”- a next job that will never appear despite more talk involving “investors” and “sponsors.”

So, yes, having more licenses and more choices are very nice, but where’s the talent and the money gonna come from. Watch local or Singaporean or Taiwanese produced programming on most of those foodie and music channels on NOWTV and you’ll want to cry to mama about how shockingly bad they are.

Why? You pay peanuts, you get monkeys and monkeys cannot create even bad programs. They create embarrassments.

Remember that absolute piece of shit produced for Hewlett-Packard and called HP Space? Ever watched all this productions outta Singaporean with those La La accents or those blindingly brightly lit and void-of-any-idea Hong Kong “variety”shows which went out with Robert Chau, but limp around in 2012? HP Space has a very special place on the Wall Of Shame for being corny and a total fix with the ubiquitous queen bitch cast and stuck in there.

Asia and especially Hong Kong is all about money. No money, no honey no matter who that honey might be and no point getting outta bed.

So when it comes to screaming for new licenses for more television channels, be careful what you wish for. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose and nothing to offer except for more clutter and even more rubbish. Again, the Ghost of HP Space rears its fucking ugly head. Everyone in Singapore responsible for this suck piece should be flogged- publically.

Unless investors in these new television channels have done their due diligence and really understand this business and not through second-hand “expertise” from the usual suspects of bullshit artists, they still need to go back, count their nickels and dimes and wonder how long they can sustain the business and if they can out-perform the programming on AppleTV and all the FREE channels we can now receive through the net- legally or illegally and where the lines have blurred and few care about what’s legal or not.What you see is what you get and if you like and want what you see, that’s all that matters. You just take it and download it onto your computer. Terrestrial television channels, NOWTV, countless repeats etc, who fucking cares?

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