Let’s just think this past few days in music for a few minutes before diving into the mosh pit that were The Grammy Awards: First of all, Christina Aguilera gets the words wrong to the American National Anthem at Super Bowl 2011 and the media descend on her as if she broke the Eleventh Commandment.
Then, the Black Eye Peas perform during the Half-Time Show and get roundly panned. They really were awful and one predicts a long “hiatus” for them and a downward spiral in will i.am’s credibility as a “musical genius”.
Getting a Get Out Of Jail Free card for their “contributions” to the Half Time Show from Hell was Usher and, to a lesser extent, Slash.
Slash needs to get a bit choosy about who he performs with, if not, he’ll end up being the male version of Orianthi. Man, has her career stalled- even with all the money poured into hyping the poor thing into being some angst-ridden midget like Avril Lavinge. By the way, anyone know whatever happened to Skye Sweetnam?
Orianthi was and is a brilliant guitarist and leave her to do be exactly that. But, taking advantage of her presence on “This Is It” and having being hand-picked by Michael Jackson to be part of his band and then peddling her as a singer-songwriter, nah, it stunk. She cannot write not sing. Not that that’s stopped many.
So, before the Grammys Saga, the body-count consisted of Christina Aguilera and BEPs.
After the Grammys, the wins by Arcade Fire for Record Of The Year and the brilliant Esparanza Spalding for Newcomer Of The Year are, well, good for the soul, especially the win of the latter artist- but also baffling.
I have written about Miss Spalding and believe she is an extraordinary talent. And at the Grammys, she beat out Justin Bieber for this award.
Forget all the “Bieber Fever” nonsense and whether the kid is all hair or if he is “manufactured” etc, but, the result really is a turn-up for the books. How? Why?
Universal Music would have had their entire battalion of promo people making sure that the Beeb would win this award. The fact that he did not is questionable. In fact, did he win anything?
Same with Arcade Fire beating out Eminem and Lady Gaga. How? Why? WTF? Plus, Babs Streisand thought they were called “The Suburbs”.
When shows like this always over-run, the band were still able to “spontaneously” perform one more song and the stage was setup so they could. How? Why all this un-Grammy-like behaviour and un-Grammy-like results?
Hey, I’m all for change, but these results, the performers, the performances, the presenters, well, it was almost surreal. No, wait: It was BLOODY surreal.
Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand who had starred in a remake of “A Star Is Born” decades ago and dragged out as presenters for Record Of The Year was just…I don’t know what to say. They might as well have had Neil Sedaka up there. Or Neil Diamond. Or Liza Minnelli and Perez Hilton.
Mick Jagger was great- but seemed to have turned up at the wrong show. All that gyrating by a 65-year-young man with a Sir in front of his name and trying to get the buttoned down audience to get up and Do The Pony was a noble effort, but, in hindsight, it was pretty hilarious and reminded me of the late great Kenny Everett and his skits of Jagger being eaten alive by his own lips.
This really was a St Valentine’s Day Massacre of the musical kind. Very little made sense and nothing seemed to come from the heart.
I still laugh thinking of Gwyneth Paltrow singing on top of a piano with Cee Lo Green dressed like a more outrageous George Clinton and backed up by some Muppets. WTF, indeed…