The problem with anything the Hong Kong Government touches is that [A] the public pays for it, but know nothing  about it, [B} the planning is non-existent [C] the quality will be naff and [D] it won’t make sense.

Surely, the Government must be on crack?

Last week, The South China Morning Post announced Hong Kong hosting, not one, but two, Asian Awards shows- one for the film industry and the other for the music world.

Yes, some will groan, “Oh, no, not another f***ing awards show”, but what makes me really wonder is how the winners will be determined.

Being the most prejudiced region in the world, how will anyone be able to judge the “Best” in any category?

What, for example, will make someone from India the “Best Actor” over an actor from, let’s say, Taiwan, or Hong Kong, or an actor from somewhere else in the region?

One can follow this same train of thought as to how the Best of everything else will be judged. And even if one can get away with naming the “Best” at this proposed Asian film awards, how can there be a “Best Asian Male Vocalist”,or “Best” anything when it comes to such a divided subject as music?

Someone suggested that they will probably have a “Best” of winner in each category from every participating country. Riiiight. And then the show will take three days to finally end and no one caring who the hell won what.

Have these people even bothered to check just how divided and categorized and sub-categorized the Grammys has become.

Hate to say it, but at the Grammys  and with all stops pulled to create political correctness, there seem to be one group of awards for whites- whites will, of course, always win the Country category unless a group called Blazing Saddles are formed- another for Blacks- unless Vanilla Ice makes a comeback, there will always only be Eminem to stall the Soul Train- another for Latinos and that other species known as Classical.

In November of this year, the Venetian in Macau hosted the Mnet Asian Music Awards aka MAMA. And, MAMA is right: This “Asian Awards” show was only for Korean acts.

Some Korean MAMAs from an “Asian” awards show last month.

For years, MTV Asia persevered with their annual MTV Asia Awards and eventually gave up. It was a political and logistical night mare. And it did not make sense. It was more than just different strokes for different folks and horses for courses. The horses bolted in all directions and the different folks did not like all the different strokes.

Today, there is, of course, the ill-conceived turkey that is “the pan-Asian” talent search called “Project: Lotus”- even the name sucks- and which is yet to bloom despite the hype. Eeeek!

Meanwhile, in its usual half-arsed manner, the spokesperson for the Hong Kong Government has taken a shotgun and shot himself in the foot by stating that he sees these two events as working as a “bridge” that will bring Asia together.

Personally, it seems like a very rickety bridge- and a bridge to nowhere- which could lead to papadums, dim sums, adobo and kim chee being strewn around the streets of Hong Kong.

Hate to be a naysayer, but like the Government-subsidized farce of a music festival that was Harbour Fest, all the looooooong drawn-out goings on with the Kai Tak project that moves at a snail’s pace, the West Kowloon Cultural  District which sounds like a fish market, both of these events have hardly been thought through.

In fact, from what I have been told by some senior local music executives, this immaculate conception is the brainchild of two old farts, one of whom was fired from his previous job and the other who is dismissed as an also-ran.

Both are said to have zero experience in organizing an entertainment event, let alone two as daft as these.  One can only assume that they have friends in high places who are willing to throw HK$10m their way to “see what happens”.

It’s all about knee-jerk reaction and with the only “positive” thing about this news being CreateHK and its esteemed leader and visionary- Jerry Liu- coming out their respective shells and stumping up some cash for these events.

Jeez, the one time for “Jer” and company to do something worthwhile and they fall at the first hurdle. And it took Duncan Pescod and his army over a year to find “Jer” to steer the Titanic that is CreateHK?

Jerry Liu of CreateHK trying to figure out where the hell he is.

Duncan Pescod, far right, interviewing a new executive for CreateHK

Speaking of which, the budgets for both awards show seem incredibly low- HK$10m and HK$8m- respectively and with no news at the moment about venue, attendees, sponsors etc. And with these scheduled for March, 2011 and with the Chinese New Year holidays going to be upon us soon, how all this pixie-dust thinking will morph into something with a pronounced shape is anyone’s guess.

If all this isn’t enough to make one wonder how these people get their gigs and waste taxpayer’s money on the ridiculous, there is mention of these awards also becoming “television specials” and which will “attract over 10 million viewers”.

Huh? How? Why? On what channel? MTV? Channel [V]? FX? STAR World? TVB Jade? ATV? And how anything attract anyone when there is nothing yet on the drawing board except some pie-in-the-sky thinking without any toppings?

And you still wonder why people in show business and the music industry in Hong Kong are moving to Singapore?

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jasper Donat. Jasper Donat said: Hans Ebert on HK's newest "Award" shows… [...]

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